It was Monday, our usual day off – our Sabbath
rest – and we had decided that it would be fun to head to the resort to spend
an hour kayaking around the beautiful, aqua blue lagoon. As we arrived at the resort, a taxi driver
called out to me to tell me that a little baby had died, one that we had prayed
for in the hospital just a week before.
She was the one-year-old daughter of Pastor Morrison on the island of
Tanna, and his wife Rahab. She had
improved enough after we saw her that she was discharged from the hospital. She had an enlarged heart and congestive
heart failure that they were trying to control with medication. Surgery is not an option in Vanuatu and only a
slim possibility in New Zealand or Australia because of the incredible expense
involved. We didn't hear anything from Pastor
Morrison and assumed Baby Louise was doing well. So, we were so surprised to hear that she had
died.
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| Prima Nazarene Church |
We went and spent several hours with the family
that afternoon - crying and crying. When
we arrived at Prima Nazarene Church everyone had gathered and various women
were holding Louise's dead body. I was
feeling so sad that I couldn't even really think of anything encouraging to
say. The sun had gone down and the
church was dimly lit with a solar lantern and a kerosene hurricane lamp. I sat
on the mat with the ladies, one of them the baby's grandmother (my friend Rahab,
and Baby Louise’s mother's namesake).
They carefully unfolded a woven mat and spread a piece of cloth over
it. Then they folded a blanket and put
it in the middle. They indicated to the
baby's auntie that she had to put the baby on the mat, and carefully placed her
head and limp little body on the folded blanket. They began to carefully wrap the baby in lots
of cloth and finished by folding the mat over her, then placing another cloth
over the folded mat.
Baby Louise’s mother had been crying a little
distance away, and she came over at that point and wailed and wept, caressing
the bundle that held her baby. David
described her as “weeping violently” - a good description. At one point, a woman came with some special
clothes, and the bundle was completely unwrapped, in order to dress little
Louise's body with the special dress and socks.
So much grief, it was hard to take it all in!
The parents' wishes were that they be able to
fly back to Tanna the next day to bury their baby near their home, but the
expense was prohibitive. We helped them
with the cost a bit, and then told them that we would be praying for God's
provision. We were asked to return to
the village the next morning to preach for the memorial service.
We arrived there the next morning with lots of
vehicles parked along the road, and many people crying at the church. Women were cooking near Pastor Gideon's house
since the family is expected to provide food for all the guests (a very
burdensome custom). Pastor Gideon told
us that some of the men had left to get a different coffin for the baby. A small coffin had been built out of some
wood and the baby's body was placed in it, but a few of the family members found
it not adequate. A lovely little white
coffin with silver handles on the side and soft padding inside was purchased
instead. When it arrived, the baby was
taken out of the first coffin and resettled in the nice one. That was David's cue to begin the funeral.
God really helped him preach a beautiful message
of encouragement and truth about the gospel of Jesus Christ and of God's
love. An amazing thing happened a short time after
he finished preaching. Peter and Jenny's
landlord is from Morrison's family and was in the church when we arrived. She stood up and began to speak to the ladies
at the funeral in their language in a very soothing, calming way and finished
with singing a little chorus about heaven.
Afterward she came over to us and explained that she had translated what
David had said so the ladies could understand!
What a blessing! Some women here
don't understand Bislama (the trade language in Vanuatu), so God provided
someone to interpret for the mother and the women who had been grieving all
night and desperately needed words of encouragement in their heart language!
Some of the family had called their Member of
Parliament (something like our senator), and asked for his help to get Pastor Morrison,
his wife and Baby Louise back to Tanna since Morrison had helped to vote him
into office. He agreed to pay their
way! He wasn't even supposed to be
available to receive a phone call that morning, but God detained him long
enough for the family to share their need with him. We stayed with the family until it was time
to take the baby and the family to the airport.
While we waited we saw some things that were
very different from our own ways of grieving.
A woman came into the church yard carrying a large stick which someone
quickly took away from her. She began to
call out for Morrison and when she located him, she began to beat him
viciously! Morrison’s brother, Pastor
Gideon, stood between the woman and Morrison, both of them weeping. It was the woman’s way of showing her grief,
something that is culturally accepted and expected. How very sad and strange to our understanding
of grief!
With many children all around the church playing
quietly with each other, we watched as a woman and her little girl who was
about five years old came near the coffin and began crying. I recognized the woman as one of the
relatives. It surprised me that the
little girl was also sobbing and crying.
She kept wiping the tears from her eyes, and even after her mother
stopped crying, the little girl continued.
I wondered if she just had a tender heart and cried when she heard
others crying or had she known Baby Louise and helped to care for her in the
village? One thing was clear, she was
very sad.
Not long before it was time to leave for the
airport, some of the men got their screwdrivers out and began to take the cover
off the coffin. One of the family
members who owned a camera wanted to take a picture! The family carefully unwrapped the mat and multiple
layers of cloth until Baby Louise was visible.
Many people stood around, cameras flashing, to get their last recorded
memory of this precious little one. A
few weeks previously, a young mother who had lost her baby at birth pulled out
her cell phone and showed me a picture of her dead baby’s body.
Our truck became the hearse and carried
Morrison, Rahab, and the baby's coffin, with David driving. I jumped in another bus to make room in our
truck for family members; my bus led the long, slow procession to the airport. We waited another hour or so until the coffin
went inside the plane along with the family, and then another long wait before
it actually took off heading to Tanna. Once
the family landed on Tanna they had a long drive to their village, but
Morrison's brother Ken arranged a truck to get them there. Baby Louise was buried the following day and
the family continued to cry together for five days. On the fifth day, they have one more big meal
together, and the crying is finished – at least the family’s obligation is
finished. I’m quite sure that Morrison
and Rahab are still grieving the loss of their precious little Louise.
The Lord reminded me about the story in Ann Vos
Kamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts,
about the parents who had two little boys die of a rare lung disease. I looked up that part of the story to read it
and was reminded about "hard eucharisteo" (difficult thanksgiving). The father had talked to the author and said
he and his wife felt blessed because they had been able to spend some time with
their boys before they died. And, the
father said that he had remembered the story of King Hezekiah who begged God
for healing and God gave it, but it was not for the best. This father had learned to trust God's plan,
and found comfort in praising God. So,
throughout the days that followed, I looked for ways to thank God in the midst
of the grief and sorrow and loss. Here are
some of the things that I found to be thankful for:
- ·
Little Louise's
illness was severe enough that the doctors on Tanna suggested she come to Port
Vila. Had she not come, she would have
died on Tanna, and her grandmother Rahab would never have met her, nor would
many of her family who are living in Port Vila.
They got to see what a happy child she was and got to spend some time
with her before she died.
- ·
God provided for
her to be buried on Tanna at her village rather than in Port Vila, which would
have multiplied her parents’ grief.
- ·
God used David to
speak words of comfort and encouragement, and then provided for the translation
so that the women (and men) could hear the Good News again.
- ·
Because of this
little baby's death, many people came together who would never come to church,
and they got to hear the gospel. We are
praying that someone will trust Jesus for salvation and receive life forever
because of this little baby's funeral.
- ·
Both Morrison and
Rahab are believers and know the hope of heaven. They do not grieve as those who have no
hope! They know that little Louise is in
God's hands and totally healed forever!
Most of us never realize how differently the
people of other nations respond to life events.
Even after living among Melanesian people for the last 20 years and
having attended many “cry-cry’s” with them, the experience never feels exactly
right. I wanted so badly to help comfort
others as they cried so violently, but all my attempts seemed to only intensify
their grief! The truth is that everyone
is expected to cry, especially the women, and a lack of tears might indicate
that you are to blame for the death. One
thing that we’ve come to realize is the same in both my home culture and my
host culture - grieving people really appreciate having others come and be with
them as they mourn. As I sat quietly
crying with Morrison and Rahab, I prayed knowing that the God of all comfort
hears our cry and answers us. One day,
God will wipe away every tear from our eyes and there will no longer be any
death or crying. Until then, I will cry with those
who cry.
